


Give Him a Nightmare

by Yukio



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Accidents, Angst, Blood and Gore, Darkness, Death, Demons, Depression, Distrust, Gen, Horror, Mindgame, Nightmares, The Darkest Nights TMNT Fan Book, Unclear Line Between Dreams and Reality, Waking Life, losing hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 07:26:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12576700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukio/pseuds/Yukio
Summary: When a prankster is pranked, it doesn’t always end well. After Raph shuts Mikey in a dark room and doesn’t want to let him out until Leo and Donnie interfere, Mikey’s life turns upside down. He’s like a bad luck magnet, causing accident after accident and keeping hurting his brothers. However, it seems as though some accidents are erased from existence while there are many that Mikey doesn’t even remember causing. He slowly loses the touch with reality and he needs his brothers to help him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for The Darkest Nights TMNT Fan Book.
> 
> I want to thank my good friend Chercherin for helping me with the idea and Wachey from Tumblr for correcting my grammar. Thanks, girls <3

_It was there. Alone and hungry. It was trapped in the darkness, banished from the world of the living. Afraid. Hopeless. Dying. It lost count how long it was there. Months? Years? Decades? Centuries???_

_It remembered the rise and fall of civilizations. It remembered the acrid smell of gunpowder. It knew how fear tasted. It learned the power of despair._

_It had seen happiness._

_But here was nothing of that sort. No emotion, no world moving around, just dark emptiness._

~~~

“You’ll pay for that, Mikey! I’ll teach you to pull pranks!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Raaaaph, I said I'm sorry!”

“Sorry won’t save you this time. Learn from your mistakes!”

Mikey was squirming and trying to free his shell from the iron grip of a hand that had been originally green but right now black goo was dripping from it. Mikey wasn’t clean himself; when he had been trying to escape Raph’s wrath, he had slipped on a puddle of the mentioned goo and fallen face first into it. That was how Raph had managed to catch him and now Mikey was facing his brother’s vengeance.

“If black is your favorite color…” Raph yanked open a small metal door leading to who knew where. The old, abandoned factory they were in right now was full of such places. Originally they had come here to play ninja tag as part of their training, but soon Mikey had found other activities he enjoyed doing more than chasing his brothers. When he had dicovered a canister with the black, sticky material, his imagination started working immediately, providing him with a devilish plan.

The moment Raph ended up dirty from head to toe, it was Mikey’s turn to run and make sure he wouldn’t get caught. But Lady Luck wasn’t always a faithful lover and she turned her back on the young ninja.

“This will teach you,” Raph growled, trying to cram Mikey into the pitch-black darkness.

“No, no, no, Raph, no, please!” Mikey was fighting back with all he had, but Raph was stronger and held him firmly.

“Now you’re begging?”

“I won’t do it again, I promise!”

“I’ve heard millions of such promises. You’ve never kept a single one of them,” Raph said, shoving Mikey inside and slamming the door shut behind him. He listened to his youngest brother’s cries with satisfaction.

“Raaaph! You know I’m scared of darkness! Let me out! Raaaaaaph!!!”

“You should’ve thought of it before you bathed me in this crap,” Raph said, holding the door on which Mikey was banging from the other side.

“Raaaaaaaaph!!!”

“What the shell’s going on?” Leo’s strict voice sounded before the leader jumped from a railing above Raph’s head and landed as gracefully as a cat in front of his red-banded (right now black-banded) brother. Donnie emerged from the darkness on Raph’s right and together with Leo they were looking at the hothead disapprovingly.

“Raaaaaph! Let me ooouuut!” wailed Mikey.

“The nutball’s getting a lesson,” Raph stated with a shrug, still holding he door.

“Leoooo!!! Donnieeee!!!”

“Cut it out, Raph,” Leo said, his voice low and calm, but the order obvious in it.

“Why? He can prank me whenever he wants and I can’t return the favor?” Raph growled, glaring at his two brothers while Mikey kept banging on the door and crying.

 “You can, but in an appropriate way. This is not appropriate,” Leo said.

“Why?”

“Because he’s scared,” Donnie said.

“Serves him right,” Raph snorted.

“Raphael, let him out,” Leo said, frowning, making a step closer. Raph understood that if he wasn’t going to open the door, Leo was going to do that for him. And he wasn’t going to be gentle in removing the red-masked ninja from his place.

Raph glared daggers at their leader. He was about to snap something venomous when a heart-breaking, ear-splitting scream sounded from behind the door, making each of them freeze on the spot.

“Open the door!” Leo yelled and moved to do it himself, but Raph was already pulling the handle. He was immune to his youngest brothers begging and crying, he knew too well Mikey’s tactics, but such a desperate cry only told him he went too far. He never wanted to actually hurt his little brother. And when the orange-banded turtle shot out from the darkness, plastering himself to Leo, wrapping his arms around the leader’s waist and sobbing into his plastron, he even felt sorry for his deed.

“Hey, Mikey, it’s all right now,” Leo spoke soothingly to the youngest ninja, running his hand over his carapace in an attempt to calm him down. “You’re safe.”

Mikey sniffed and he didn’t seem to let go of Leo any time soon.

Raph watched the scene and what was supposed to be his victory felt more like defeat.

“Let’s go home,” Leo said finally, and the four turtles set off on their way back home. Mikey was still glued to his oldest brother’s side and Leo had his arm wrapped around the youngest ninja.

When they got home, Raph had to listen to one more lecture about punishment fitting the crime, this time from Master Splinter, before he could go to bed. If Mikey slept with Leo that night or alone in his room with lights on, he didn’t know. Whatever it was, he hoped his brother was doing better. 

~~~

Mikey was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth after a spicy lunch. He had cooked for the whole family, but he added extra peperoni into his portion and ate it before his brothers cared to come to the kitchen to have their meals.

It was quite a peaceful day. Leo and Raph weren’t trying to get on each other’s nerves, Donnie was working on some project and Mikey didn’t see him for most of the morning, Master Splinter was meditating in his room and then moved in front of the TV to watch his favorite shows.

Mikey looked at his reflection in the mirror, giving it a white, toothy grin, before he bent to the washbasin to rinse his mouth.

He spit the water and wanted to repeat the action when he suddenly heard a crash and a loud, painful cry coming from the kitchen. Mikey straightened up, worry and curiosity driving him out of the bathroom.

He crossed the lair and peeked into the kitchen where all his brothers were gathered right now, Raph sitting in one of the chairs, Donnie holding his hand and checking the hothead’s palm and Leo cleaning the mess on the kitchen floor.

“What happened?” Mikey asked, not ready for the accusing glares from three pairs of eyes.

“What happened!?” Raph growled with incredulity in his voice, and he was already rising from his chair as though he was about to jump Mikey and throttle him in place.

“Sit,” Donnie ordered and pushed the red-masked ninja back in the chair. “I’m not done with you. Leo, could you bring me the first aid kit, please?”

“Sure, Donnie,” Leo said and moved to the door. As he was passing Mikey, he handed him the broom he was holding. “At least be so kind and clean the mess.”

Mikey was too shocked to disobey and so he took the broom without his usual complaining.

He entered the kitchen hesitantly, trying to ignore Raph’s glares. Donnie was turned away from him, so Mikey couldn’t see his face, but he was sure that his usually calm brother was angry as well. Mikey bent to the broken glass on the floor and swept the rest of the shards on a dustpan and threw them into the bin. Then he took a cloth and started wiping away the water that had spilt from the glass when it had shattered.

“Does anyone care to tell me what exactly happened that made you all pissed at me?” he asked as he wrung the wet cloth into the basin.

Donnie, who was inspecting Raph’s hand, stopped in his action and turned to Mikey. “You’re unbelievable,” he said with angry disbelief in his voice. Mikey couldn’t remember when he last heard Donnie use such a cold, distant voice on _him_ , the cute little brother. “When you finished cooking, you didn’t turn the stove off and Raph burned his hand.”

“Oh,” Mikey wasn’t aware that he had forgotten to do something that was so automatic, but an iron habit could easily bite you in the ass when your mind was somewhere else at the crucial moment.

“I’m sorry, bro,” he started with the apology. He _was_ sorry that one of his brothers got hurt because of his mistake. But the guys still didn’t need to be such dicks about the whole thing. “Why do you touch hot stuff, Raphie? Are your ninja instincts off today?” he finished, his voice laced with mocking innocence.

“Mikey!” Leo, who just returned into the kitchen, cried in exasperation. He seemed to want to scold his little brother for being rude, but Raph was already standing up, fisting his hands.

“I’ll give you ninja instincts! OUCH!!!” he whined as his burned skin protested painfully against the sudden movement.

“Raph, sit down!” Donnie said firmly and pushed the hothead back in the chair.

Mikey jumped backwards in order to get as far away from his angry brother as possible. “Chill, dude. You’re like a mad dog.”

Raph growled, looking daggers at the orange-banded ninja.

“Stop it, Mikey. There’s nothing funny about it,” Leo told the youngest brother off as he set the first-aid kit on the table. Donnie pulled it closer and opened it, taking out a tube with some kind of cream. He applied it on Raph’s injured hand before he bandaged it gently.

While Donnie was working, Mikey sneaked out of the kitchen. He cleaned the mess _Raph had made_ , the stove was obviously long turned off and Donnie didn’t need help while tending Raph’s hand, so it was time to go and let his brothers cool down. He decided to go to his room and read comics.

No more than twenty minutes had passed when he heard his name being called from the main area of the lair. By the sound of it Mikey knew he couldn’t expect anything good, so he hid himself more behind the comic book he was reading and pretended he didn’t hear anything.

He only sighed when the door of his room opened after a while and Leo was standing there, frowning the way only he could and looking at Mikey with utmost disappointment.

“How can I help you, Leo?” Mikey asked sweetly. The overly polite tone of his voice was supposed to tell Leo that he wasn’t welcome there.

“What’s up with you today?” Leo spoke, taking a few steps inside.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Mikey turned his attention back to his comic book, making sure that Leo could see how much he didn’t care.

“Mikey, I’ve been patient with you today, but even my patience has its limits,” Leo continued in his scolding.

Mikey glanced at his big brother. He had no idea what Leo was talking about. He thought that the thing with the stove was already resolved, but he was probably wrong. He stayed quiet, waiting for the blue-masked ninja to continue and enlighten him on the matter.

They were staring at each other for a while before Leo finally cracked.

“You forgot to turn off the water in the bathroom,” he said with a sigh.

Mikey’s eyes widened. “Oops…”

“Oops? That’s all you have to say?”

“I’m sorry,” Mikey said, trying for an apologetic smile.

Leo sighed heavily. “Mikey, you can’t just forget turning off things. You saw yourself what can happen,” he said as though he was talking to a naughty child.

Mikey frowned. “Do you think I did that on purpose?” he asked, giving Leo a nasty glare.

“No, I’m saying you should be more careful. It’s no fun, Mikey…”

“That’s enough,” Mikey interrupted his older brother. “Get out.” He raised his comic book to his eyelevel to let Leo know that he wasn’t kidding.

“Mikey, you probably don’t understand…” he heard Leo after a moment of complete silence. Obviously the older brother was surprised by Mikey’s loss of patience with him. Leo always had to have the last word and Mikey was fed up with it right now. Leo could take his last words with him where the sun didn’t shine.

“I understand it very well,” he said from behind the book. “Now get out of my room.”

“Mikey,” Leo’s voice was strict, but Mikey didn’t care.

“Get. Out.” He shut the comic, considering the idea to throw it at the annoying leader, but in the end he put it on the bedside table and turned off the lamp providing the dim light. “Goodnight,” he growled, throwing a blanket over his head.

He could hear a heavy sigh. “Goodnight.” He listened to the sound of light feet on the floor until it was cut by the door being closed.

Mikey threw the blanket away. “Idiot,” he said, reaching out into the darkness to turn the lamp on again…

He woke up with a start. Huddled under the blanket, hugging it firmly, he stared into the darkness. After a few intakes of breath he reached to the bedside table to turn on the lamp.

The soft light flooded the space around the bed, wrapping Mikey into its comforting embrace. He breathed out slowly, glancing at the bedside table where his comic book was supposed to be, but for some reason it wasn’t there. Neither was it on the floor or under his bed.

Mikey looked around the room. He was sure that he had put the thing on the table, so how come it wasn’t there anymore? Had any of his brothers come to his room and put the comic away?

Mikey got out of the bed and checked the shelf with his comic books. He found the issue he was looking for lying innocently among the others as though it hadn’t been moved for some time.

“Weird,” he said, frowning at the book. Something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

He moved to the door, throwing glances over his shoulder at the offending comic issue.

He felt odd relief as he left his room. Maybe he could go for a run in the sewers and clear his head. After what happened with Raph and the water in the bathroom, he didn’t think his brothers longed for his company right now.

“How bad is it, Donnie? Can you fix it?” he heard Leo’s voice and was curious what was broken this time.

“Yeah, it’s an easy fix, but it’ll take a while. I’m sorry, Master Splinter. I’m afraid you’ll miss your shows today.”

“That’s all right, my son. I know you’re doing what you can.”

“Someone should talk to the nutball. This isn’t the first time. He could at least tell Donnie that he broke the TV so that the genius had time to fix it before Master Splinter wanted to watch it,” Raph’s gruff voice sounded, leading Mikey to the living area of the lair where his family was huddled around the malfunctioning device.

“What did I do this time?” he asked rather defensively.

Raph, Leo and Master Splinter looked at him while Donnie was working his magic.

“You didn’t tell Donnie you broke the TV,” Leo informed his youngest brother.

“I didn’t break it,” Mikey said defiantly. “I didn’t do anything to it.”

“No?” Raph growled. “Then who had a video game marathon here just an hour ago? A green goblin with an orange mask that resembled you so much that we mistook it for you?” he drawled, sarcasm pouring from his every word.

Mikey frowned. “I didn’t break anything,” he insisted. “I haven’t even been near the TV today, I’ve just woken up. The last one I saw in front of it was Master Splinter.”

Deep silence followed, even Donnie stopped in his work. Four pairs of eyes were staring at Mikey in complete disbelief turning quickly into irritation.  

“Michelangelo,” Splinter addressed his youngest in a low but strict tone. “It’s better to confess than trying to blame someone else for your mistake.”

“But I didn’t do anything!” Mikey cried. Why didn’t they believe him? Something caught his attention suddenly. “Hey, where’s your bandage?” he asked, eyes wide as he was staring at Raph’s perfectly healthy hand.

Raph gaped at him as though Mikey was out of his mind. “What bandage?”

“You burned your hand yesterday!” Mikey made a beeline to his red-masked brother and grabbed his right hand, inspecting it. There was no sign of a burn, no damaged skin, no blisters. How was it possible? Had he been dreaming?

Raph pulled his hand out of Mikey’s grasp awkwardly. “Stop kidding.”

“Mikey, what’s up with you?” Leo asked, but this time worry colored his voice.

“Michelangelo, are you feeling well?” Master Splinter watched his youngest son, who was looking at his family as though each of them grew a second head. What the shell was going on?

Donnie put the screwdriver away and was already reaching to the little brother’s forehead to check his temperature.

Mikey made a step backwards, avoiding Donnie’s outstretched hand. “I… I think I’m gonna lie down for a little while,” he stuttered, turning around, and ran back into his room, locking the door.

Only after separating himself from the oddness of the world behind the walls of his room, he allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief.

He was dreaming. He was surely dreaming. There was no other explanation for what was going on here. Therefore he got to bed, squeezed his eyes shut, and tried hard to fall asleep, wishing that this crazy day was finally over.

~~~

The next couple of weeks brought more accidents. Usually they were just stupid, harmless things, but quite annoying since there were too many of them: a broken toaster, a blown fuse, a tear in Raph’s punching bag, a puddle in the middle of the lair on which Leo slipped and bumped his butt, a broken video game controller, Donnie’s favorite coffee mug shattered into pieces… Every day brought a new small catastrophe and it was always Mikey’s fault somehow. The strangest thing was that his brothers remembered barely half of all of the bad stuff that happened according to their little brother. On the other hand, there were accidents that they remembered, but Mikey didn’t no matter how hard he tried to.

Mikey knew something was going on. His supposedly false memories were too detailed to be mere dreams. It occurred to him that some strange power may have been working here, changing timelines, and that was why the consequences of the accidents no one else remembered but him were erased from existence.  For Mikey, it was the only possible explanation. For his brothers, not so much.

Raph looked at him with mild annoyance. “If you stopped watching horror movies and eating the shit you like so much before going to bed, you wouldn’t have such crazy dreams.”

When he went to Leo, half complaining about Raph and half trying to explain his problem, the leader gave him a smile that he obviously thought was understanding but Leo’s words convinced Mikey his big brother understood just as little as the hothead.

“I agree with Raph,” Leo said in a soft voice as though he was talking to a little kid. “You’re probably just tired, therefore your attention is not as good as it should be and your reflexes are slower. That’s why you don’t excel in practices and keep dropping things or breaking them. If you just went to bed a bit sooner instead of watching movies and ate healthier food…”

That was the moment when Mikey tuned Leo out and walked away to look for his third sibling.

Donnie wasn’t in his lab at the moment, but a few beakers full of various colorful liquids standing on his desk were indication that Mikey’s genius brother wouldn’t be gone for long and would probably return soon. Mikey didn’t mind waiting. The fluorescent colors of the mysterious liquids attracted his attention and he walked closer to have a better look at them.

He looked into the beakers and was trying hard to suppress the desire to dip his finger into each of them. The emerald green liquid looked like poison from Snow White, but maybe it had far less fatal properties. Crimson red reminded him of their hotheaded brother and Mikey wondered if the thing was as explosive as Raph sometimes. The sky blue content of the last beaker looked the least harmful of all, tempting Mikey’s self-control. He stuck his tongue out in concentration as he raised his hand and slowly neared his finger to the beaker.

“No,” he said to himself and glared at the liquid. “You may look innocent, but you can be as dangerous as almost anything in this lab,” he announced, actually proud of himself for not doing anything rash just because the color was so beautiful.

He sighed with his finger just inches above the blue surface. He knew that giving in to the temptation would not only earn him black points by Donnie, but it could lead to a dangerous outcome. Donnie’s rule number one: Never stick your fingers into unknown chemicals. 

Mikey knew that Donnie’s rules weren’t there just for fun. But there were so many times he simply couldn’t help himself. A lot of Donnie’s projects were interesting and awesome and Mikey just couldn’t keep his excitement on a leash. He decided that if he was not going to stick his fingers into the mesmerizing substance, he could at least play with the beakers a bit.

A wide grin spread across Mikey’s lips when he suddenly heard steps outside the lab and he panicked. If Donnie found him here with a finger above the surface of the colorful liquid, Mikey would be banned from the lab for the rest of his days – which would have been a shame.

He pulled his finger out of the beaker as fast as he could. Unfortunately, Lady Luck turned her back on him again and Mikey’s elbow collided with the beaker containing the red liquid. The beaker moved to the edge of the desk and it was only thanks to Mikey’s trained reflexes that it didn’t fall down on the floor and meet its end. The prospect of ruining Donnie’s work gave Mikey chills. He straightened up so swiftly, eager to put the thing back on the desk and pretend he had never touched it, that the liquid sloshed over the edge of the beaker, splashing the desk. A few drops of the crimson red liquid ended up in the sky blue substance, drawing purplish eerie figures that vanished almost as quickly as they appeared.

“Phew, that was close.” Mikey whispered and put the beaker on the desk. He looked over his shoulder at the door of the lab. The sound of the steps had already faded and Mikey guessed they had belonged either to Raph or Leo going to the kitchen to snatch something to eat.

He looked around the room, noticing a cloth in one of the corners. He ran there, took the cloth and returned to the desk to wipe the mess he made so that Donnie didn’t notice anything when he returned.

He dumped the cloth back in the corner and looked longingly at the beakers containing the tempting liquids. He should probably leave before he managed to do some serious harm. He still hoped the few drops in the blue substance didn’t mean a totally messed up project. Maybe he should tell Donnie before the genius got back to his work.

Mikey walked out of the lab, looking around the lair. There was still no sign of the purple-masked ninja, only Raph was hanging around on the couch.

“Hey, Raph!” he yelled through the whole lair as he started skipping towards the couch.

Raph looked at his annoying little brother, raising his hand and showing the middle finger. Mikey wasn’t sure if Raph was trying to be rude or if he was just pointing to the ceiling.

“Raphie, Raph, Raphie,” Mikey sang as he came closer.

Raph rolled his eyes and glared at his younger brother. “What?”

“Where’s Donnie?”

Raph obviously relaxed when Mikey didn’t seem to want to bother him with some stupidity. “Said something about going to see Leatherhead,” he said lazily.

“Oh… Cool.” Mikey shrugged. He’d need to wait a bit longer, then. “Wanna play a video game?” his attention moved to Raph.

“And kick your butt?” the red-masked ninja smirked.

“Ha, you wish,” Mikey grinned, reaching for the controller.

Raph snorted, straightening up as Mikey handed him the controller and went to turn on the TV and set the game so that they could play.

As engrossed as he was in the game, he totally missed Donnie’s return. Killing Raph’s character and teaching his older brother a lesson in who was the video game king was too important a mission that required all his attention, the world around be damned. Raph was a formidable opponent, trained by the hours of playing games either alone or with his little brother, doing anything to throw Mikey from his imaginary throne, but Mikey wasn’t called the best player in the lair for nothing.

He was just about to give Raph’s character the last blow when the sudden sound of explosion coming from Donnie’s lab made them both turn around. They wouldn’t have given it much of a thought, though, because such explosions were nothing unusual when Donnie was working on some of his projects, but the painful cry that accompanied it couldn’t mean anything good.

“Donnie!” Raph threw the video game controller on the couch and ran right into the lab.

“My eyes!” Mikey could hear the wail of his purple-banded brother. He paused the game and ran after Raph, almost bumping into Leo, who stormed out of the dojo.

Meanwhile Master Splinter left the respective space of his room, too. “What happened?” he asked his youngest since he was the only one right now standing outside the laboratory.

“I don’t know,” Mikey replied, but a bad feeling was already clutching at his heart. He had his suspicion.  

“My eyes! I can’t see! It hurts!”

Chill ran up Mikey’s spine as he peeked into the lab. Leo and Raph had already dragged Donnie to the washbasin the genius had in there. Leo was just untying Donnie’s mask while Raph turned the water on and pulled one of Donnie’s hands under the cool stream.

“Here, Donnie, wash your face.”

Mikey’s gaze traveled to the desk and his worries got a real shape. As innocently as before three beakers were standing there, the liquids in two of them beautifully red and fluorescent green, but the substance in the last beaker was ominously dark and turbid. He knew that Donnie wouldn’t have been so stupid as not to wear protective goggles while working with explosives, so it was clear that he _hadn’t expected_ such a reaction. Donnie was an experienced scientist who knew his stuff, so the fact that something like this happened to him was entirely Mikey’s fault.

“What’s going on here?” Master Splinter entered the laboratory.

“Sensei, Donnie’s hurt,” Leo said as he turned to their father. The purple bandana was still in his hand and Mikey noticed that there were several places on it, especially in the area around the holes for eyes, where the color was much paler than the rest of the mask.  Mikey pressed a hand to his mouth in horror.

Raph was helping Donnie to wash his face and talking to him in such a gentle tone Mikey had never heard before. It could mean only one thing – the red-masked ninja was scared, but for Donnie’s sake he was trying hard to keep his shit together.

“Michelangelo, get Ms. O’Neil. Be quick,” Splinter ordered his youngest son, who was shaking now like a leaf in the wind.

It was a welcomed distraction for Mikey as he turned around without a word and hurried out of the lair as fast as his feet could carry him. He knew that the sooner he got April, the better the chance for Donnie to not lose his eyesight. Mikey had no idea what sort of chemicals splashed his brother’s face, but if the faded color on the purple mask was any indication, then this was Mikey’s most fatal mistake in his entire life. He hoped April could help Donnie. Donnie needed his eyes maybe more than any of them. Mikey didn’t even want to imagine how crushing it would have been for the genius if he had been robbed of his ability to build such incredible things so suddenly. He didn’t think that losing his eyesight would’ve stopped Donnie in battling crime in New York streets along with his brothers, a blind warrior was nothing to be unheard of, but a blind engineer? He knew Donnie was tough and badass and all, but how much would he be able to adapt to new conditions?

“No, no, no, don’t even _think_ about it,” he scolded himself as he ran through the sewers.

“I want to wake up from this nightmare. Please, I want to wake up,” he repeated like a mantra, but his pleas stayed unanswered.


	2. Chapter 2

It took April an eternity to examine Donnie’s eyes, but she didn’t give Mikey much hope when she finally spoke. According to her, the injuries were serious and needed time to heal. She couldn’t tell if Donnie would stay blind or not.

Guilt and shame filled Mikey’s heart. How could he be so careless and so forgetful? Now it cost his brother so much.

“Donnie, I…” he started, wanting to tell him everything, wanting to tell him how he messed up , how he was to be blame for what happened to his gentle, peaceful, inventive brother, but the moment he opened his mouth, his throat squeezed and he could say nothing more.

“I hope you’ll get well soon,” he mumbled instead before he ran to his room with tears in his eyes.

He woke up tired and unhappy. Leaving the bed was a true effort. He didn’t feel like getting up and facing the new day, not if Donnie couldn’t see its beauty. He felt so ashamed and disappointed that he considered staying huddled under his blanket and never coming out of his room, but he knew that Leo and Father would never forgive him if he missed practice.

He crawled out of bed in the end. Putting on his gear took much more time than it usually did as he was trying to postpone the moment when he needed to leave the sanctuary of his room. 

He opened the door just a bit to peek out and check if he could see any of his family, but the lair seemed quiet and peaceful. It couldn’t fool Mikey, though.

He sneaked out of the room and padded to the kitchen like a cat on a hunt. If he could avoid his family right now and have his breakfast before anyone could confront him, he would be happy. Then he would endure the practice, and then he would go to his room to drown in his guilt.

But his wishes weren’t heard. Barely had he bit into his poor sandwich when Leo walked into the kitchen. He gave Mikey a searching look. The younger brother put his breakfast back on the plate in front of him and watched Leo watching him.

“What?” Mikey asked, puzzled by the scrutiny. Did Leo know that Donnie’s injury was Mikey’s fault?

“How are you feeling today?” Leo asked, and his voice was unnaturally soft.

The question took Mikey by surprise. “Eh… Why are you asking me? I’m fine. You should ask Donnie how he’s doing.”

Silence stretched between the two brothers. Leo was staring at Mikey, making the younger ninja feel kind of twitchy. If it hadn’t been too suspicious, Mikey would have run back to his room or into the sewers, the breakfast and practice be damned.

Leo took a seat next to his little brother, still watching him as though he was expecting something. Mikey was just about to ask Leo what his problem was, but the older ninja spoke first.

“Donnie told me that he noticed something is up with you. Your concentration is worse than usual, you look tired, and you’re slower. I thought it was because of the lack of sleep because you play video games or read your comics until late night hours, but Donnie thinks it’s something different. He says you’re anxious, which leads to all those accidents.”

Mikey stayed silent for a moment, processing what he had just heard. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said in the end. Yes, he was spooked by all those things that were happening to him. As if some dark power had cursed him. But the other things? Come on! Slower? No way in hell. His concertation was always lame and he was only tired of the guilt that was gnawing at his heart. Otherwise he was completely perfect.

“Mikey, you don’t need to hide anything from me,” Leo said, his tone still gentle. “I’m here for you. I want to help you.”

The younger ninja pulled his chair a bit further from his brother, the corners of his lips lifting in an awkward smile.

“I’m good, Leo, really. It’s Donnie you should be more worried about right now, isn’t it?”

Leo’s puzzled stare told him that he was probably asking something his older brother had no idea about.

“Donnie’s fine, right?” he asked in a small voice.

“Do you know something I don’t?” Leo asked carefully, piercing Mikey with his suspicious look.

Mikey frowned. “I didn’t do anything!” he said, defending his honor immediately.

“I didn’t say you did, I just asked…” Leo started, but he was interrupted when their purple-masked brother entered the kitchen.

“Hey, Mikey, did you sleep well?” Donnie asked. Judging from the empty mug he brought with him and put on the counter, he came with the intention to make himself coffee, but totally forgot about it the moment he spotted the younger ninja. 

Mikey would have snapped that he was perfectly all right and they didn’t need to worry about him, thank you very much, but the look of Donnie, leaning against the kitchen counter and looking at him with his absolutely healthy, uninjured eyes, stopped him in that particular train of thought. He jumped from his chair, crossing the distance that was separating him from his genius brother, and threw his arms around him, imprisoning him in a tight embrace.

Donnie let out a surprised gasp, wrapping his own arms rather awkwardly around the younger brother. “Is everything okay?”

Mikey sniffed in Donnie’s neck. “Just happy to see you,” he mumbled.

Donnie sighed, patting Mikey’s carapace soothingly. His eyes found Leo, who gave a small nod. Donnie smiled, putting his hands on Mikey’s shoulders and pulling the orange-masked ninja from him a little so that he could look at him.

“Why don’t you come with me to the lab? I’d love to talk to you for a bit. We haven’t spent time just the two of us for a long time, anyway. It would be great to hang out together for a while, wouldn’t it?”

“Eh?” It wasn’t often that Donnie invited Mikey to his kingdom of nerdiness. Actually, Donnie had never done it. He wanted something, Mikey just didn’t know what. But he was so happy that Donnie was all right that he simply didn’t have it in himself to turn down the offer.

“Sure, why not,” he said, and a small smile played on his lips, but then he remembered something. “What about practice?” he asked.

Leo and Donnie exchanged looks.

“It’s long after practice, Mikey,” Leo said. “Donnie thought it was better to let you sleep, you looked tired yesterday.”

“Oh…” Mikey didn’t have much to say to that. Probably that was why Donnie wanted him in his lab, to check him out. And maybe it wasn’t a bad idea. Mikey knew something was wrong with him and if someone could help him, it was Donnie.

“Are we going, then?” Donnie asked, and suddenly his voice sounded uncertain as though he was expecting Mikey to change his mind now when he understood his true intensions.

Mikey sighed tiredly. “Yes, let’s go.”

Donnie gave him an encouraging smile as he grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the kitchen.

“Have fun!” Leo called after them. The smug bastard probably thought that Mikey was fooled by Donnie’s sweet words about hanging out together, absolutely satisfied with Mikey’s compliance as Donnie dragged him into his lab.

“Here, sit down,” Donnie said as he brought a chair for Mikey and pushed him into it gently. Then he occupied his respective seat behind his desk, reminding the orange-masked turtle more of a doctor than a brother who wanted to spend some quality time with him.

Mikey’s attention quickly moved to the things Donnie had on his desk. Three beakers, each of them containing a colorful liquid: emerald green, crimson red and sky blue. Mikey’s heart skipped a beat as he stared at them, remembering the disaster from his dream.

“Donnie, what are these?” he asked, his eyes fixed on the beakers.

Donnie glanced at the substances and smiled. “I was working on making some explosive pellets.”

“Oh… cool,” Mikey said without his usual enthusiasm, eyeing the beakers mistrustfully.

The smile vanished from Donnie’s lips. “Mikey, can I ask you something?” he said, capturing his little brother’s attention.

“You just did, dude,” Mikey said, but then he shrugged. “Sure, shoot.” It was Donnie’s usual procedure – first talk and ask many pointless questions, then start poking and prodding and examining.

“Has something happened to you lately?”

That was it. The question Mikey didn’t feel like answering, because he didn’t know the answer himself.

“No. Why?” he said, trying to sound bored.

“You haven’t pranked Raph in quite a long time and you stopped skateboarding around the lair…”

“We’re forbidden to skateboard around the lair,” Mikey reminded his purple-masked brother.

“That never stopped you before,” Donnie pointed out.

Mikey shrugged. “Maybe I finally grew up. That’s what all of you want from me, isn’t it?”

Donnie sighed. “Mikey, I’m your brother and I love you. If something bothers you, it bothers me, too, and I want to help you. We all do. You have three brothers and a father who care about you dearly and we want you to be happy. If you can’t talk to me for whatever reason, go to Leo or Raph or Father, I’m sure you’ll find someone who’ll listen to you. Just don’t close yourself to us, okay?”

A sigh escaped Mikey’s mouth. He should probably be grateful for Donnie’s willingness to put everything aside in order to find out what was going on with his youngest brother lately. He just wasn’t sure if he was just another of Donnie’s projects or if his brother was truly willing to listen because he wanted to help.

“I’ve already tried to talk to Leo and Raph and they both think it’s just the horror movies I watch till late night or the food I eat before I go to sleep,” he said, annoyed.

“But you know it’s something different,” Donnie encouraged him to continue.

“Yes!” Mikey cried. “I tried to explain to them that there’s something wrong with me, but they repeated their old song. I _know_ that what’s been happening around me lately has _nothing_ to do with the horror movies or junk food.”

“Uhm, that’s what I think, too,” Donnie said calmly.

“I know, right?” Mikey flailed his hands in frustration. “It started when Raph burned his hand because I forgot to turn off the stove. Then I forgot to turn off the water in the bathroom. Then…” Mikey continued in his enumeration of all the stuff that had happened to him up to that moment, explaining them animatedly and waving his hands in the air. Donnie’s expression reflected utter concentration as he listened to his little brother’s monologue. The genius didn’t stop Mikey a single time to ask for more detailed information, so the orange-masked ninja carried on with his narration.

“… and we heard an explosion and you screamed, because your eyes were hurt, and I was afraid you’d never be able to see again!” he cried, and his hands shot in the air once again.

Everything happened too fast after that. Before Mikey could stop himself, his hand collided with the cool glass surface of the beaker containing the green liquid. Even his reflexes of a ninja weren’t enough to stop the accident from happening. The beaker toppled over and the liquid spilt right on the keyboard of Donnie’s laptop.

Mikey’s heart skipped a beat. He watched in horror as his brother grabbed the device and lifted it from the desk in order to save it from the green danger, but even he was too slow to manage it in time.

“Dammit!” Donnie cursed as the text on the screen fragmented into odd images and sparks flew from the laptop.

Wide-eyed, Mikey stared at the ominously looking flashes. “F-fire,” he breathed out as panic took over him. There was fire and he needed to put it out before it did any serious harm.

Looking around, he noticed the beaker with the blue liquid. Blue was good. Blue meant peace and safety. Blue was like Leo, powerful and effective. Helpful.

He didn’t think twice before he grabbed the glass container.

“MIKEY, NO!!!” Donnie’s cry made him freeze in the movement, but it was too late. The liquid sloshed over the edge of the beaker and while most of it ended up on the floor, a fair amount of it still found its way on the keyboard.

The reaction was immediate. The two substances mixed into a combustible material and a single spark was enough to set a fire. Donnie screamed as flames licked his hands and he dropped the laptop on the floor where it smashed into pieces. 

The racket in the lab drew the attention of the rest of the family. Leo was the first one who stormed through the door in order to figure out what was going on, but Raph didn’t need more than a second to join him in the doorway. The two ninjas became the witnesses of Mikey’s surrender to his curse. The youngest brother loosened the grip on the beaker with the rest of the blue liquid he was still holding and let it fall on the ground. The sound of the breaking glass was the last addition to the catastrophe raging in front him.

He watched everything as though from far distance, as though it didn’t concern him at all. Donnie’s hands were injured, his computer broken, all his work gone. And all Mikey could think about was how tired he was of feeling guilty.

Someone pushed him out of their way and he went more than willingly, taking step after step towards the door. Once out, he didn’t feel worry or shame or guilt. To be honest, he felt nothing. He was an empty shell and if there had been a sliver of strength inside of him to wonder why he felt like that, he probably would have. But right now there was no energy that would fuel his natural curiosity.

He walked right to his room, not even registering his father heading towards the lab. If Splinter asked him anything, Mikey didn’t hear. He was deaf and blind to everything that was going on around him right now and the only thing that interested him at the moment was his bed. Mikey crawled under his blanket, pulling it over his head. He closed his eyes, knowing that this nightmare was going to end soon and be exchanged for a worse one. He didn’t care anymore.

~~~

Getting up required all Mikey’s willpower. Tiredness was his second name and if he wanted to be honest, he seriously considered believing in Dementors sucking every bit of energy out of him. If Leo hadn’t come to call him for the morning practice, he wouldn’t even have bothered to leave the bed.

He was already used to the fact that when he got up in the morning, things were different. Therefore he was surprised when he saw Donnie with bandaged hands.

“What are you staring at? You were there when it happened. Don’t tell me you forgot again that you messed up something,” Raph snapped at him instead of wishing him good morning.

“Leave him alone, Raph,” Donnie said. He was going to train with Master Splinter today, working on improving his ninja skills while handicapped, focusing mostly on dodging an enemy’s impacts and his agility. Raph and Mikey were supposed to train under Leo’s supervision. They started with simple katas, continuing through a series of more complicated ones.

Mikey didn’t spare a single glance at his purple-masked brother throughout the practice and was glad that Donnie didn’t train with the rest of them. The youngest ninja strictly concentrated on the katas and prayed to the higher power that Leo didn’t have the bright idea to pair him with Raph for a spar. Mikey wanted his peace and the moment the practice was over, after being told by Leo that his performance today was quite poor, he left the dojo before anyone could stop him and locked himself in his room. 

He heard Leo knocking on the door, asking him to open up and let him in. He only wanted to talk, he only wanted to know what bothered Mikey, he only wanted to be helpful. Mikey ignored him.

Raph came and banged on his door to fucking stop acting like a little kid and come out. They needed to talk to him. But Mikey ignored him.

Donnie came. He didn’t knock; maybe he realized it would have been futile. He started speaking right away, talking some shit about how he understood and how he wasn’t pissed, but Mikey didn’t believe a single word. How could Donnie not be pissed since his beloved laptop was shattered into pieces and all his hard work gone? Donnie was a liar. He only wanted Mikey to come out. So Mikey ignored him.

Then Leo came again. He was standing in Mikey’s room, waking him up from his sleep. Puzzled, Mikey squinted at his brother from under his blanket. He didn’t remember unlocking the door.

“We’re going on a patrol. Coming with us?” asked the leader.

Mikey turned on his back and gave a heavy sigh. He didn’t feel like going anywhere, the bed was his only friend now. But even the bestest of best friends needed to step aside when there were responsibilities.

“I’m coming,” he muttered, sitting up.

Leo nodded. “Hurry up, we’re waiting for you,” he said before he left the room.

Mikey rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. For a moment an idea crossed his mind that his three brothers were enough to protect the city, so why should he bother? But something within him, maybe his upbringing, maybe his sense of justice, or maybe the knowledge that he could make a difference between a severely injured brother and a brother that returned home safely, didn’t allow him to stay behind. 

He threw the blanket aside and got out of bed. Pulling his gear on, he was trying to remember when he had taken it off. He put his nunchuks into their holders on his belt and stepped out of his room.

It didn’t take long and the four turtle brothers greeted the late evening in one of the back alleys. A fire escape led them up on a rooftop from where they had a great view of the city drowning in light pollution. The rooftops gave the green team the shelter they needed; they jumped from one to another, watching the streets, listening to any suspicious sound.

Mikey followed his brothers without his usual enthusiasm. Mostly, he kept quiet, listening to their opinions of the silence in the streets, the silence before a storm.

They ran a bit farther, taking the direction to the docks, when Leo suddenly stopped, head high, his body rigid. He lifted his hand slowly, forest green fingers reaching for the hilt of one of his swords as his eyes pierced the darkness around.

Raph followed Leo’s example. He stood at the edge of the roof, crouching a little and sniffing the air like an animal ready to attack. His palms stroked his sai, coddling them, ready to imprison them in a tight grip if needed. Donnie was standing a bit farther from the red-masked brother, his bō ready in his bandage free hands.

Mikey took the position near their leader. The air of security enveloping Leo was drawing him closer, especially when Leo got like this, alert and tense.

They didn’t need to wait long for the ambush. Foot ninjas encircled the brothers, attacking them from every direction. The fight for life and death started. Blades swished through the air and hard wood hit its targets, breaking bones, cold steel dove into pliable flesh. Punches were given and received. Cuts and scratches did nothing to stop the fighters from coming at their enemies without hesitation. Adrenaline rushed through veins, numbing the pain, pushing them forward to dance this little dance of blood.

Mikey’s nunchuks served their owner well. More than once they saved him from the enemy’s attacks, preventing the infliction of serious injuries. But the tiredness caused by the recent events was taking its toll and despite Mikey’s efforts his reactions were slower and clumsier than usual.

He sensed his enemy. He anticipated the weapon aiming at him. The nunchuks started spinning again and one of the hands wielding them rushed through the air.

Mikey knew he was too slow. There was no time to change the direction of his hand and block the impact. There was no way to save his shell. He was doomed.

He closed his eyes, expecting the deadly stab of the enemy’s knife, but it never came. Instead of that, a hard push sent the orange-masked turtle on his carapace. 

Confused, Mikey opened his eyes and immediately wished he had never done that. A katana was sticking out of the Foot ninja’s chest and the guy was on his way to the ground. However, it wasn’t the thing that made Mikey’s heart skip a beat and a frustrated cry die in his throat. Leo, his big brother and savior, was pressing a hand to his neck. Through the gaps between his fingers blood was pouring with startling intensity, rolling down the leader’s body and dripping onto the dirty rooftop.

Leo wheezed, sinking to his knees as his legs were no longer able to carry his weight. The other katana fell out of his hand, landing next to the bloody knife.  Mikey could see how strength was leaving his brother’s body; Leo swayed and gravity took control.

That was the downfall of their strong, proud leader.

Time stopped for a moment and then it started flowing too fast. Mikey could hear screams and the clanks of weapons, he could hear the sound of breaking bones and retreating steps. He could hear a lot and still the only thing that he was able to focus on was the sight of the motionless body lying in a pool of blood in front of him.

A heavy stone settled in Mikey’s chest, crushing his poor, aching heart into dust.

“Leo,” he whispered, making the first, tentative move. His brother was lying on his side, facing away from the younger ninja, the pool of blood getting bigger with every heartbeat.

“LEO!!!” the panicked voice, coming from not so far distance, made Mikey wince in shock as it confirmed his greatest fear that this thing happening in front of his eyes was real.

“Leo,” he whined and crawled on his knees to his big brother. “Leo, please…”

He touched lightly the forest green shoulder. “Leo.”

Nothing happened, only the noises around him died away.

Mikey gripped the shoulder and turned the body of his brother on his carapace. Glassy eyes stared blankly at the inky sky, all their light gone. A deep slash marred Leo’s neck with the last drops of blood still clinging to it.

“Leo…” Mikey whispered again, his voice shaking.

Two pairs of green feet stood next to him. Mikey looked up at his two remaining brothers covered in blood. He could see many cuts on their limbs, but nothing seemed too serious. Raph looked like he wanted to tear the whole world apart and, judging from the number of bodies scattered around, he had already started with it.

Donnie crouched next to Mikey, putting his bō on the ground carefully as though he was afraid to part with it. Mikey noticed the tremble of his brother’s hand as the purple-masked ninja reached out to Leo’s face. The olive green palm cupped the leader’s cheek in a gesture of love and sorrow. It stayed there for a few seconds, before Donnie bent to the blue-masked face, pressing a kiss on Leo’s forehead in the last goodbye. Then he straightened up again, pushing his brother’s eyes closed.

“Donnie,” Mikey croaked. It was hard to speak through the lump in his throat.

Their eyes met. The almost imperceptible shake of Donnie’s head was like the fall of a hammer, crushing the last sliver of hope, turning it into the darkest nightmare.

“No one can help him now, Mikey.” Donnie’s voice was quiet and breaking, almost apologetic.

Mikey knew it. He had known it since the moment Leo had fallen down on the ground, but he had still hoped for a miracle. Instead, he got the confirmation he didn’t want to hear.

“Leo…” he sobbed as he looked into the peaceful face. If there hadn’t been the marks after the fight, Mikey would have sworn Leo was just sleeping.

“I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all,” Raph growled darkly, his hands balled in fists, fire blazing in his eyes.

“We need to get him home,” Donnie said reasonably, putting his bō into the holder on his back.

Mikey looked around and shuddered at the sight of the dead bodies. He nodded weakly, wrapping his arms around his torso.

He didn’t remember much from their way home. He didn’t know how they had gotten Leo from the rooftop. The only thing he could recall when they finally got home was the look of a broken soul in Raph’s eyes as he carried the lifeless body of their eldest brother and the leader. Never before had Mikey seen the hothead treat Leo with such love and care as during that heartbreaking journey.

They put Leo on his bed in his room with all the tributes of a fallen warrior. His katanas lay on either side of his body – his faithful companions during his life and in his death.

_He fell like a hero, in a fight, protecting the ones he loved the most._

Those were the last words Mikey heard before he fell into the dark world of grief and self-loathing.


	3. Chapter 3

“Donnie, what’s up with him?”

“I’m telling you for the tenth time, Leo, I have no idea. Let me work. I’ll tell you as soon as I know.”

“If the little shit hadn’t hidden from us, we could’ve helped him sooner,” Raph growled as he looked at the motionless figure of his youngest brother lying on the cot in the medical corner of Donnie’s lab. Many cables were attached to Mikey’s body, connecting him to a series of machines monitoring his vital functions and sending the collected data to the genius’s computer.

“Why didn’t he say anything?” Leo paced the room nervously like a caged tiger. Raph kind of expected him to start biting his nails if Mikey didn’t wake up from his coma soon.

“I tried to talk to him,” Donnie said with a heavy sigh as he checked the data.

“Tried is the key word,” Raph said sarcastically, crossing his arms on his chest, his ever-present frown darkening his features.

Donnie fidgeted in his chair. “What should I have done? Chain him to a chair?” he said in an offended tone.

“If it would’ve helped, why not,” Raph retorted, trying to hide his own fears behind the angry mask.

Meanwhile Leo stopped pacing the room and stood behind Donnie’s chair, peeking over his purple-masked brother’s shoulder. “What does the computer say, Donnie?”

Raph noticed the slight tightening of Donnie’s lips, but instead of sending Leo out of the lab the genius clicked a few times with the mouse.

“That’s odd,” he said after a while. “According to the data everything seems to be normal, the heart rate, the pressure… The blood test showed that there’s not even a deviation in the level of blood sugar.”

“Maybe that’s what put him into a coma,” Raph said. “The nutball eats so much junk that anything nearing a level of a normal healthy being is poison for him.”

“Shut up, Raph. Let Donnie work,” Leo said, his eyes still glued to the computer screen.

Raph was near to snapping something because he wasn’t the one bugging Donnie for more information, but he let it pass in the end. They didn’t need any pointless arguments right now.

“I’ll need to watch him for some time to be sure what exactly is wrong with him. And run some more tests, of course,” Donnie spoke again and turned to Leo to give him a meaningful look. Leo seemed to get the memo; he smiled awkwardly, raising his hands in an apologetic gesture and stepped away from Donnie’s chair.

“Where’s Master Splinter, by the way? I haven’t seen him ever since Donnie told him he needed to examine Mikey,” Raph interrupted their silent conversation.

“He went to meditate,” Leo said.

Raph nodded. Meditation was their father’s way to restore his balance to be able to deal with the hardships that life threw at them. What would he have been doing here, anyway? Pacing the room and getting on Donnie’s nerves like Leo was?

“Why don’t you go join him?” he asked his eldest brother.

Leo turned to him with a slight scowl. “What was that?”

Raph rolled his eyes. “Calm down, I didn’t mean it as an offence. It’s just your way to deal with things. Look, Donnie has nothing to tell us so far and it’ll take some time until he knows more about Mikey’s condition. Why don’t we let him work and… I don’t know… get some rest on the couch or spend some of that nervous energy in the dojo?”

“Good idea,” Donnie’s tired approval was all that Raph needed. He beckoned his eldest brother.

“Come on, Leo,” he said, congratulating himself on being so patient and helpful. But he swore that if Leo started a guilt trip, he would kick his ass. Leo wasn’t the only one that was worried about their little brother and blamed himself for not having made the knucklehead speak before things went this far. Donnie didn’t need their help right now and Raph felt useless. He needed to do something and Leo just gave him a good opportunity to ease his own anxiety a little.

Leo looked at the orange-masked figure lying on the cot one more time and nodded. He followed Raph out of the lab and into the dojo. A little exercise couldn’t hurt. It was Leo’s favorite activity, anyway, so Raph hoped it would help the leader to get a grip on himself.

They took it easy, went through a few basic katas and tried a few moves they had been taught recently in slow motion. Leo’s concentration was wavering and he did a lot of mistakes. In order to avoid his frustration from being worse than usual Raph directed him to the punching bag and let Leo work his fears through the punches that weren’t even hard.

“Hey, Leo. Mikey’ll be fine. Donnie’s the best doctor I know. He’ll help him,” Raph said in a low voice as he was holding the bag for his brother, but he wasn’t absolutely sure if he was trying to convince Leo or himself.

“Donnie’s the only doctor you know, Raph. He’s the only doctor we have,” Leo pointed out, and his next punch was harder than the ones before.

Raph let go of the bag which almost got its revenge on Leo for all the hits. Raph couldn’t care less. He felt heat in his cheeks and his hands curled into fists.

“What are you implying?” he asked menacingly. “Donnie is a pretty damn capable doctor…”

“I’m not saying he isn’t,” Leo said, and Raph could read desperation in his eyes. Desperation that he found offensive. “I would never doubt Donnie’s skills, but there’s only so much he can do without proper equipment and medicine that’s hard to get.”

Raph kept glaring at Leo, but he had no argument on hand. He knew Donnie was doing his damnedest, but the limitation could turn crucial any time. Not talking about the fact that even Donnie couldn’t know everything, which Raph admitted only reluctantly.

“Even now he doesn’t know what’s going on with Mikey,” Leo added, and he looked like he was going to break. Raph was not having that.

“He also said he needed to watch him and run more tests,” he said defiantly and turned around to leave the dojo. Talking to Leo about this was pointless.

A sudden rattling sound and the curse that followed made him freeze on the spot.

“Donnie,” Raph breathed out when a strong hand shoved him aside as Leo’s body pushed past him through the doorway. The blue-masked ninja hurried into the lab, Raph right at his heels.

“What’s up, Donnie?” Leo cried the moment they barged into the genius’s kingdom.

Donnie didn’t answer at first; he was just injecting something into Mikey’s arm with the deepest concentration reflecting on his face. Judging from the slight crease of displeasure on his face and the mess in the lab, something was off. Tools were scattered on the floor, most likely because Donnie had knocked them down as he hurried to a cabinet with medicine. The cabinet doors were open and a few boxes and bottles were lying on the floor, too.

Raph’s heart skipped a beat and a chill ran up his spine. Leo probably wasn’t even breathing until Donnie finally spoke, but his expression didn’t give them much hope.

“I gave him adrenaline. His heartbeat is slowing down,” Donnie said, and even though he was trying hard to sound cool, the light tremble of his voice didn’t escape Raph’s attention.

“What does it mean?” Leo asked, and he didn’t even try to hide his fear.

Donnie’s lower lip trembled as he took a deep breath. “He’s dying, Leo. And I don’t know what to do to stop it.”

~~~

Dead silence followed Donnie’s announcement. The air around them was getting heavy when their hope shattered into sharp pieces cutting through the soul of each of them. The unwillingness to believe the ominous words was being torn apart by the expression of guilt in the purple-masked brother’s face. How crashing the realization that there was nothing he could do must have been for their genius?

Donnie couldn’t take the horrified looks his brothers were giving him anymore and turned to his computer. A few clicks with the mouse showed the data only he could understand, but Donnie’s mouth stayed firmly sealed, which meant he learned nothing that would ease the fears in his brothers’ hearts.

“Maybe I can help.” The unexpected voice coming from behind their backs made the three turtle brothers almost jump out of their shells. They turned around to face their father, who came to the lab so quietly that one would have thought he had materialized out of thin air.

Donnie looked at Splinter rather skeptically. “I don’t want to sound disrespectful, sensei, but what can you do that I can’t?”

“For example, rely more on the spiritual energy rather than the hollow data your computer provides,” Splinter said calmly. “Don’t get me wrong, my son, but what you learned is only the result of the state the reason for which you don’t know.”

“And you do, Father?” Leo asked in a small voice talking about the beginning of a new hope.

“What I know is that the life energy of the three of you is strong and bright, but Michelangelo’s is slowly fading,” Splinter said, coming up to the cot.

“Donnie said something similar about Mikey’s heartbeat. What’s the catch?” Raph asked, exchanging a glance with his purple-masked brother.

“The catch, as you phrased it, Raphael,” Splinter continued, “is that you need to look for the answers on a deeper level. “

Splinter’s words left Raph no wiser, and Leo and Donnie seemed to be as confused as he was, but they all knew that asking for an explanation was pointless. Instead, they watched their father put his hands on Mikey’s forehead. Master Splinter took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting his consciousness enter the level where he could find out more about his youngest son’s condition.

Minutes were ticking by during which no one dared to utter a word. They waited until Master Splinter opened his eyes again.

“It’s worse than I thought,” he said. “His energy is not disappearing into his surroundings, but it’s being sucked into the area of his Third Eye Chakra.”

“What does it mean, Father?” Leo asked.

“That the cause of Michelangelo’s state lies here,” Splinter gently tapped Mikey’s forehead with his finger.

That caught Donnie’s attention. A thoughtful expression settled on his face as he turned to his computer again.

“No, Donatello. The brain is not the problem,” Splinter said. “It’s the soul. The way of Michelangelo’s thinking.”

“Then it means…” Leo let the rest of the sentence hang in the air.

“It means only Michelangelo can save himself. But he needs your help,” Splinter finished for him.

Raph looked at the motionless figure on the cot. “What shall we do?” He would do anything to keep his family safe and sane.

“I think I know how to reach Mikey…” Donnie said slowly, turning to his family.

“Very well,” Splinter said. “I rely on you, my sons.”

“Let’s do this!” the leader in the blue mask said, determination seeping from his every cell and infecting the rest of the team.

Raph gave a small smile. Finally, there was something they could do. And he would make damn sure to get Mikey woken up from his coma.

~~~

“Will it work?” Raph asked as Donnie attached a cable to his temple.

“I don’t know,” his brother admitted. “I’ve never tried this before, but according to my calculations…”

“We get it, Donnie,” Leo interrupted him impatiently, checking his own cable if it held properly. “Let’s get on with it.”

“Just a moment.” Donnie checked something on his computer and then attached the last cable to his own temple. “Master Splinter?”

“I’m ready.”

“Good. If anything…”

“I know, Donatello. You explained it to me in detail.”

Donnie nodded. Raph watched his brother’s hands as they checked the cables connecting the three of them to Mikey’s forehead. The last, fourth cable led to the computer monitoring their progress.

Donnie took a deep breath. “Let’s get started,” he said and beckoned to Master Splinter, who pressed a button on the computer keyboard.

Raph’s insides twisted as a strange power swept through him. The last thing he registered before the world in front of his eyes melted away was an electric discharge in place where Leo was sitting in his chair. A painful groan made Raph’s hand shoot to the cable to disconnect it from his body, but it was already too late. He felt an unpleasant pull. Darkness wrapped his consciousness in a warm cocoon before it spat him out in a new world – Mikey’s world.

He found himself in the lair. The silence that surrounded him was almost deafening; not only was there no sound of any life form, but Raph couldn’t hear even the water running through pipes or the almost imperceptible buzz of the electric devices such as the TV or the fridge.

“Donnie?” he called. His voice filled the room, bouncing from the walls and returning to him like a bullet.

The door of the room he knew as Leo’s opened and his purple-masked brother peeked out.

“Raph! Thank God!” Donnie ran out of the room, looking more than relieved to see the hothead.

“What happened, Donnie? I saw the discharge of Leo’s cable and…” He looked around. “It looks like a tomb here.”

“Because it is,” Donnie said in a hushed voice as though he wanted to share a secret with Raph, but in the dead silent lair even a whisper sounded like a scream. “It’s Leo’s tomb.”

“What? Explain,” Raph demanded. His heart was beating so loudly that he was afraid he wouldn’t hear Donnie’s next words and he leaned closer to him.

“Mikey believes Leo fell in a fight. That belief denied Leo’s consciousness the access into Mikey’s mind and when he tried, it resulted in the electric discharge,” Donnie said.

“Oh… But… He’s okay, isn’t he?” Raph asked, concerned.

Donnie shrugged. “I don’t know. He may be hurt,” he said guiltily.

Raph tried not to think about the painful groan. He ran his hand over his face in frustration. They had a task now; they could worry about Leo later.

“Where’s Mikey?” he asked.

“In Leo’s room.”

“Okay. Let’s wake him up and end this nightmare.”

Donnie nodded eagerly. He turned around to hurry back from where he had come, Raph following, when a soft shuffle of feet made them both stop mid-steps.

“Donatello,” a hoarse, broken voice of their father called. It was hard to ignore.

Donnie looked at Raph, his eyes asking the red-masked brother what to do.

“Donatello.”

That voice was tearing their souls apart and Raph knew that Donnie would crack under its heaviness rather sooner than later. He had a problem to stay focused on their task himself.

“Donatello, my son,” sounded again, the plea for help crying from every syllable.

Donnie shivered. “I…” he started, but whatever he wanted to say he simply swallowed when Raph put his hand on Donnie’s shoulder.

“You know he’s not real,” Raph reminded his gentle, kind-hearted brother.

“I do, I just…” Donnie glanced sideways where Mikey’s idea of their father was standing.

“Donnie, focus!” Raph shook his brother in order to catch his attention again. “Whatever this thing is, it’s messing with your head!”

The dejected look Donnie gave him almost broke Raph’s heart.

“I’ll just give him some sleeping pills and I’ll join you right after,” said the purple-masked ninja, his eyes wide and begging. Raph let him go only because he knew that if Donnie had had to listen to that pitiful calling any longer, he wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on their task.

He snorted as he watched the genius go. That kindness would cost Donnie his life one day…

Raph didn’t wait for his brother. He had no idea how much time they had and he didn’t want to stay in this dark world of hopelessness longer than necessary. His quick steps led to Leo’s room; he walked in without hesitation, but only there he realized how unprepared he was for the sight in front of him.

The room was darker than the rest of the lair and only the flickering flames of a few candles illuminated the cruelty of the scene inside. Raph’s stomach twisted in knots as he gaped at the body of his eldest brother and leader lying on the bed motionless. Leo looked like he was carved out of wax and his forest green skin gained an ashen-grey shade; the slit on his neck talked stories about the cause of his death. His katanas lay on either side of his body as though Leo was to wake up any moment, grab them and run into a new fight.     

Raph tore his eyes away from Leo’s figure with difficulty. There was something strangely tantalizing about the dead brother, which filled him with incomprehensible masochistic delight of having his heart shattered.

That terrified Raph. This dark world in Mikey’s head was effectively messing with him, seducing him with pain and despair, making him numb, taking his free will away.

The realization made the fire inside of him burn stronger. Raph shut his eyes, squeezing the lids tightly, and shook his head. He had a task.

The invisible ropes trying to tie him to this horrible nightmare snapped. Raph opened his eyes and looked at the figure whose presence he had perceived only marginally before. Now it was the only important thing in this room, in this world, in this non-reality.

“Mikey!” he cried, but his little brother didn’t move, didn’t give a sign that he heard. His head was lowered, his shoulders hunched and he looked even more miserable than the pitiful version of their father. In the eerie light of the candles the shadow of the youngest turtle was twice his size and oddly distorted. A single glance made Raph squirm with inexplicable nervousness.

“Mikey, do you hear me?” Desperation sounded in his tone accompanied by panic.

No! He must stay calm.

“Mikey,” he tried again, his voice echoing in the gloomy room. “You need to wake up. We have to get out of here.”

Everything happening was uncurling and curling in Mikey’s fingers in his lap.

“Mikey.” Raph was losing his patience. This dark place in Mikey’s mind was freaking him out. “Mikey, listen to me,” he implored, but when nothing happened, he grabbed Mikey’s shoulder and shook the little brother to get his attention. “Mikey!”

After what felt like eternity, Mikey finally turned his head to his red-masked brother.

“He’s dead, Raph,” Mikey said in a broken voice. “It should’ve been me.”

“What are you talking about?” Raph asked, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“Leo’s gone and it’s my fault,” Mikey said, turning away from his brother.

Raph really wasn’t in the mood for his brother’s self-pity. It made this place even creepier.

“That’s bullshit,” he spoke again, shaking Mikey in the process. “Leo’s not dead. He’s alive and healthy and as obnoxious as ever.”

“Leo’s dead,” Mikey repeated.

“That’s not true.” Raph pushed in front of Mikey, blocking his view of the body on the bed. “You only think he’s dead, but he’s not. This is not real, Mikey. This is just a figment of your mind and you’re trapped in it.”

Big blue eyes fixed on him, something like a flash of hope appeared in them, but it was soon gone.

“No, you’re wrong. Leo…”

“Leo’s perfectly fine!” Raph didn’t let Mikey finish his sentence. “You’re in a coma. I’m here to wake you up. Leo’s waiting for you. For us.”

Mikey looked at him again and Raph could see doubt reflecting in the face contorted with sorrow.

“Why would I lie to you, Mikey? Why would I lie about something like this?” he said.

He was so focused on the little brother that he didn’t notice the shadow behind Mikey grow.

Mikey was looking at him, his eyes begging Raph to be telling truth.

“You trust me, don’t you?” Raph used his last weapon, his hand still resting on Mikey’s shoulder.

The shadow grew a tad more.

Mikey was watching Raph mutely, eyes scrutinizing his face. It took a long time until he finally nodded.

“Leo’s not dead,” he whispered.

“No,” Raph said, taking his hand away from Mikey’s shoulder. He offered it to the younger brother to take it. “Come on. You need to wake up and end all this.”

Mikey raised his hand, his eyes still fixed on Raph’s face.

The three uncertain fingers slid into Raph’s palm. He didn’t even have time to hold them properly as all lights went out, capturing him in the deepest darkness.

~~~

_It squirmed. It was large and strong, well-fed with guilt and despair. The fertile ground it found here and took care of provided it with sustenance it needed. The only downside was that its host was dying slowly, trapped in nightmares. His life energy was leaving the body, turning it weaker with every heartbeat while restoring the power of the child of darkness._

_The more it devoured, the more it wanted. Its hunger was insatiable. The more it ate, the more real it became, the more threatening, the true destroyer of the world._

_It could easily live on the energy it sucked out of its victim until it found a new host. But if the food came to it on its own, if a new source of life force was offered to him so willingly, it was not going to refuse it. It was going to capture it and suck it as dry as its last host, turning happiness into sorrow, good intensions into guilt – the delicious nightmare._

~~~

Raph opened his eyes. Sharp light blinded him for a moment before his eyes got used to it. He could hear beeping of machines somewhere near. He wanted to lift his hand, which felt unnaturally heavy, and got it tangled in cables.

“He’s awake!” he heard a familiar voice, but he was unable to pinpoint the correct brother until Leo’s face appeared in front of him. As much as he was happy that the leader was obviously all right, he didn’t appreciate the loose ends of Leo’s mask tickling his nose. He wanted to bat them away, but he got even more tangled in the cables.

“The shell?”

“Raph, how are you feeling?” This time it was Donnie. Raph was grateful that the genius pushed Leo away and so stopped the annoying tickling.

“I’m fine,” he growled and wanted to sit up, but his head spun and he decided to stay in horizontal position a little longer. He groaned when Donnie checked his pupils with a light pen, but it was soon over. The genius checked something on his computer while Leo was watching his hotheaded brother with more concern than Raph thought was needed.

Something was off. He could feel it in his bones. The faces of his two brothers carried the marks of something deep and terrifying.

“What happened?” he asked groggily, his trip into depth of Mikey’s mind left him weakened and kind of nauseous.

The silence that followed caught his attention. He noticed the quick exchange of glances between Leo and Donnie.

_“What happened?”_ he demanded, already anticipating that he wouldn’t like the answer.

“Calm down, Raph. You were out for two weeks,” Donnie said in a low voice, his hand touching Raph’s shoulder lightly.

“WHAT???”

“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re safe,” Donnie said distractedly, waving at Leo, who took place by the cot.

With his gaze, Raph followed his purple-masked brother’s steps to one of the cabinets. Donnie took out something which looked like a syringe, but he couldn’t be sure, because Leo blocked his view. Raph wanted to glare at him, but there was something in Leo’s expression that stopped him. He moved his attention back to Donnie, who walked back. The thing in his hand indeed was a syringe and a bottle of some liquid.

Donnie put a needle on the syringe and stuck it into the bottle, filling it with a certain amount of the liquid.

“What’s that?” Raph asked. He had a bad feeling about it.

“Sedatives,” Donnie said in his impersonal doctor voice.

“Why?”

Donnie put the bottle away while Leo moistened a piece of gauze with an antiseptic and cleaned the underside of Raph’s forearm with it. Raph let him not because he trusted his brothers that much, but because he felt too tired to fight.

“Because you need to calm down,” Donnie said as he stuck the needle into his usually hotheaded brother’s skin. Raph watched as the liquid was slowly leaving the syringe.

Leo brought a blanket and covered Raph with it. “Rest,” he said gently. That tone was so unnatural that it sent shivers up Raph’s spine. He wondered where the rest of his family was and why these two were acting so strange.

He turned to Donnie. “Why do I need to calm down?” he asked weakly. The sedatives were obviously kicking in.

The professional expression Donnie was trying so hard to keep cracked. The corners of his mouth fell and Raph would swear he could see tears glistening in his eyes. He turned to Leo, whose forehead was creased in a way that could mean only one thing: Leo was hurting.

“Where’s Splinter?” Raph continued in his questions. If someone could help Leo, it was him. If anyone could help any member of their family, it was their sensei.

“In his room. He’s sleeping,” Donnie said quietly. “I needed to sedate him, too.”

Raph frowned. His eyelids were heavy and he was keeping his eyes open only by his willpower. “Why? What happened to him? Was it Mikey?” The pieces of puzzle suddenly clicked together. “Did something happen to Mikey?”

“Raph…” Leo addressed him, his lower lip trembling.

Raph turned to Donnie, panic digging into his heart beating wildly despite the sleepiness. He couldn’t stand to look at his eldest brother right now.

“Did we… did we fail to save him?” he asked in a small voice. Fear captured him in its steel cage and he was unable to break out.

“Mikey’s dead, Raph,” Donnie whispered, his fingers slipping into Raph’s hand, squeezing his fingers. Raph wanted to pull the hand away, but he was too weak and sleepy. He used his last bits of strength to turn his head to Leo, asking him with his eyes to deny Donnie’s words.

A tear rolled down Leo’s cheek.

“Our little brother’s gone,” Raph heard before darkness took him.


End file.
